you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
My ass is underappreciated
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
