For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
it was like having sex with a tree stump
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Randomize
