Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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