if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Randomize
