I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
