it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
