So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
What drink are we having for lunch?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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