she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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