oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
