evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
