Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
