she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
