I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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