Where did you get a picture of my penis
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
