just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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