Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
