I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Randomize
