If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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