Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
