Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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