Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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