so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize