I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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