haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
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Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
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The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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