spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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