Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Randomize
