So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
time to smoke my breakfast
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
