Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
