Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Drunk is not a location!
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
