Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
