Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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