how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
