NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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