Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
