the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
