He disabled his match.com account in front of me
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize