DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I stole a fireplace last night.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
