I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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