I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
home. puking in laundry basket.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
