This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
