sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Randomize
