I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
