He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Randomize
