I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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