I heard we made out
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
