So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Holy shit dude........stairs
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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