why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
