girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
