she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Four minutes until I can fart!
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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