Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
