I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
