I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
