yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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