im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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