have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
