He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
