return my video game
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
