I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
