weddingsv make me drug and hornr
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
