I can feel you judging me through the phone.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize