hotel room ftw
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
