remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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