WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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