Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
