No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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